LEADING WITH VULNERABILITY AND AUTHENTICITY – LIVE CONSULTING WITH CINDY BROCK, LPCC | EP 58

Do you want to create strong connections between the clinicians in your private practice? How can you set the example of authenticity as the leader? What does it mean to practice safe vulnerability?

In this podcast episode, Dawn Gabriel speaks about leading with vulnerability and authenticity in a live consultation with Cindy Brock, LPCC.

Meet Cindy Brock

Cindy is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and owner of Grace Family Counseling located in Southern California. Her passion as a therapist is to work alongside clients to help them experience hope, healing, and growth in all aspects of their life. Cindy works with all ages and is a certified EMDR therapist, specializing in trauma recovery.

As a Christian, she enjoys integrating Biblical truths and faith in God into counseling. however, she also welcomes working with clients of all faiths and backgrounds. Cindy founded Grace Family Counseling in 2018 and has since welcomed a great team of therapists and support staff. Their mission is the provide a compassionate, safe, nurturing environment for individuals to embrace healing and growth in their mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual life.

Visit her Grace Family Counseling and read their blog. Connect on Facebook and Instagram.

 

IN THIS PODCAST:

  • Sharing your story
  • Create the space
  • Practice safe vulnerability

Sharing your story

As a therapist running a practice, it can be tricky to navigate how much of yourself you should share with your fellow clinicians.

However, remember that you are first a person before you are a therapist, and people connect more deeply with other people.

I personally think that people love stories … especially if you tell them from your place of healing, strength, and groundedness. (Dawn Gabriel)

Vulnerability and openness are keys to fostering a strong foundation for the relationships that work within your practice.

[Create] that environment [for your team], and you go first, and then the team goes … I think it’s beautiful. (Dawn Gabriel)

Create the space

Within your practice, you can create an environment where your clinicians feel held, seen, and respected.

Consider having a team-building weekend every once in a while, where therapists in your practice can share their stories. Who better than a group of therapists to get to know one another, feel held, and create a strong community?

As your team is sitting with clients, they hold the most sacred space with clients and they’re used to holding that space, but who holds it for them? … Who holds a safe space for them, and why not your team? (Dawn Gabriel)

Remember that even though you are the leader and CEO of the group practice, you do not have to provide group therapy to your clinicians, but simply create a space of vulnerability and authenticity.

You can create the opportunity for this to happen, invite the other clinicians in, and let it unfold in a safe and protected environment.

Practice safe vulnerability

Not all vulnerability is helpful. If you want to create an environment that is truly supportive and open, then you need to be sure that you are not demanding vulnerability, but that you are encouraging it.

People will struggle to be truly open with you if they feel that you are demanding it.

Where is your heart coming from in sharing your story, or sharing about where you are at in life right now? That’s why it’s so important to have a good support network for yourself … it can’t just be your team. (Cindy Brock)

Have support outside of your team as well, and encourage them to do the same.

Connect with me

Resources Mentioned And Useful Links:

Podcast Transcription

[DAWN GABRIEL]
Hi, I’m Dawn Gabriel, your host of Faith Fringes podcast, recording live from Castle Rock, Colorado. I am a licensed professional counselor, owner of a counseling center and a sacred space holder for fellow therapists. This podcast is for those who want to explore more than the traditional norms of the Christian culture. I create intentional space to explore your own spiritual path, a space that allows doubt, questions and curiosity without the judgment or shame, a place to hear another story and dive deeper into how to have a genuine connection with God.

For my fellow therapist, listening, I will often pull back the curtain of our layered inner world that comes with our profession. I bring an authentic and experienced way to engage your spiritual journey in order to connect you with your deepest values for true renewal and soul care. But really this podcast is for anyone listening who’s desiring a deeper and genuine connection with God. For those of you wanting to engage your spirituality in new ways, Faith Fringes is for you. Welcome to the podcast.
[DAWN]
Cindy, welcome to the podcast.
[CINDY BROCK]
Thank you, Dawn. I’m so excited to be here.
[DAWN]
I’m so excited we actually got to meet in person. It’s way more fun when you see someone on video and then you meet in person. You’re like, oh, this is really like more real when you get to spend time with someone.
[CINDY]
Yes, absolutely.
[DAWN]
So Jekyll Island is where we met at Faith in Practice Conference, but I’d love for you to tell my listeners just a little bit about you personally, and your practice so they know where you’re coming from.
[CINDY]
Yes, I’m so happy to share. So I have a practice in Southern California, I have a wonderful staff of some and admin, and we specialize in a lot of different areas. We see kids, teens, and adults specializing in trauma. We do EMDR and also neurofeedback and Christian counseling is definitely one of our main specialties. I opened the practice actually four years ago almost a week from now so just about to celebrate the four-year anniversary. That’s exciting and I’m so happy with the direction that the practice is going. I just love being a clinician. I love being a therapist and I work a lot with trauma clients and just, I’m so amazed at, they’re coming in to trust me with where they’re at. The process that we go through is pretty amazing to be a part of. I’m a mom, a single mom to an amazing 13-year-old son. He just turned 13 so managing new teenage years and trying to figure out what do you do with that?
[DAWN]
Yes. I have a 10-year-old who I feel like is tweeting, because I’m like, are you 16 or are you 10, with his emotions? So 13 man, you’re in it.
[CINDY]
Yes, yes I am. But he’s so much fun, such a cool kid. Trying to find that work life balance is always a challenge as I think it is for most people but I love the work life and I love the home life so I’m very blessed.
[DAWN]
Well, and as a single mom, I mean that’s hard. Do you have support around you, do you have other family members around you that help or are you doing everything by yourself?
[CINDY]
I have amazing support, so my parents live close by, my sister lives out of state, but she’s an amazing, just emotional support. She’s got kids a few years older than my son so she’s been through it and she’s just an amazing support for me just to talk through things. Then I have just an awesome group of friends that just support really me and I support them and our kids all know each other since they were little. That’s just huge to have that community as a single mom, because it takes a village to raise a kid, whether you’re a single parent or a two-parent family. It really does add a lot of support.
[DAWN]
Yes, I’m just imagining, I get stressed out running a group practice and being a mom and I’m like, oh my gosh, a single mom doing group practice too. It’s just, yes, I think you’re the first person I’ve met or that I’ve talked to doing that. I mean, I know there’s people out there, but I’m like, oh my gosh, that’s an incredible thing.
[CINDY]
It’s been a really unique experience. Actually, being a single mom is what really pushed me to open my mind to considering a group practice because I was seeing 25 to 30 clients a week and getting completely burned out and I thought, I can’t sustain this. So what else can I do? That’s where I thought, well, maybe I could consider having a group practice so that I can spend a little less time with clients’ hours and maybe eventually have more time at home to have a little better work life balance. That’s been the biggest blessing for my family, for my son and I, to have that option where I see clients and I love seeing clients. I love doing the admin part and then I get some time where I get to just be home and running the business from home. So I love it.
[DAWN]
How many clients do you see?
[CINDY]
I see about 10 to 12 a week. Some weeks it might go down to seven or eight, other weeks it’s up higher than those, every other week but yes I just see a fraction of what I used to see and I love, I feel like I can give even more. I can sustain this number even better because I’m not burned out.
[DAWN]
I love that. That’s what I love when clinicians and then group practice owners find their sweet spot where especially if they still love seeing clients, they know this is my number and I can still be with my team and be home with my kids. So I love that that you have found that for you. How many clinicians do you have?
[CINDY]
Right now, I have three clinicians and I just hired a fourth to come on board and I’m hoping to hire a fifth very soon because we have a wait list. We’re growing
[DAWN]
I love it. Okay, so tell me today what are you thinking? What’s most on your heart that you want to talk about and work on for the consulting?
[CINDY]
Yes. Well, one thing that has really been on my heart for a while is as a group practice owner, as a leader, as a clinician and all those roles and how they blend together, how to manage that self-disclosure and being transparent about who I am in my life and yet also keeping that healthy relationship with my staff of, okay, how can I keep the good boundaries? And in a broader sense I find it sometimes difficult for me with some of my personal things that I advocate for. I’m a survivor of domestic abuse from my first marriage and I do a lot of advocacy for that, so it’s just something that comes up for me where it’s like, how do you balance that personal life and that work life? I always think that authenticity is so important as a leader and that is just something that I’m really passionate about. But then it comes up with, okay, well, how do you be authentic and how do you manage all these different roles? I guess it’s how to sum up.
[DAWN]
Yes, especially when they intersect. And I get that. As a therapist, we hold a little bit too much awareness of our own impact, our impact on others, how they might be, you know, it’s like sometimes I wish we could shut our brains off and not know the deeper workings. So I guess my first question is when you are bringing that up, it sounds like what to disclose is one where you’re going, like, how much do I disclose with clients or your team? Is that what you’re saying?
[CINDY]
Yes, more so with my team, with clients, I have that pretty well, I think, balanced out. But more so with my team, like how do I intersect my personal life and my life with my team and what does that look like when I might feel that, maybe it’s just scary to be authentic in some of those areas.
[DAWN]
Yes. How much have you disclosed currently? Where are you at with your team now? What do they know, or in general, I guess?
[CINDY]
They do know that I have a big heart for advocating for domestic violence awareness and that I’ve done some interviews and that have been aired in different ways. So they’re aware of that but not all the details, but they are aware that I have been speaking more about some of my experiences and just being more open about what I’ve been through. When I share my story, I always really share about my healing journey because that is so, such an important part of who I am today.
[DAWN]
So then, what are you, so they already know a lot of your story. What is it that you feel like you would want to share? It sounds like there’s more you want to share, but you’re not sure about, is it like the whole story or like, if you’re triggered in the moment? What things would you want to share that you’re not sure about?
[CINDY]
I’m not even sure, like, as you’re asking, I’m not sure other than maybe I have this perception of as a leader, I should be a certain way or have certain things about me and just that vulnerability to show like, this is where I came from, or this is what I healed from. I don’t think it ever has ending. I think we’re always healing and growing. It’s maybe that learning as a leader, how to be vulnerable and authentic and still be confident as a leader. I think maybe those are things that I am trying to figure out as I still consider myself a newbie leader, as I’m learning how to to lead my team and what that looks like.
[DAWN]
I think, and yes, I’m remembering back when I was in four years, I do feel like that’s when things started shifting for me too, of okay, the craziness of building and growing my practice has slowed down and it’s more maintaining and growing still, but like deeper stuff. Who do I want to be as a leader? That’s when I started really jumping in as well, and really focusing on that but I think also what I’m hearing is that you really value the vulnerability but it still doesn’t mean it’s not going to be scary to step into that. So I personally think people love stories, especially if you tell it from your place of healing and strength and groundedness and knowing your beliefs as a believer and your faith, I’m sure that is intersected throughout as well and in your team.

So I think even just sharing your story would be huge. In fact, my team, we do retreats twice a year and one of the one those is we share stories on a deeper level. There’s usually a lot of tears. We contain it with, one time we shared it as more of what have you held onto that you think is life in this world, but really you have to let go of, because as believers, God, sometimes he wants to let go of that and he is life? We have this like temporal view and we’re holding on like to anything. Really that’s not true. Sometimes we need to surrender that. So that’s how we shared, but then I didn’t realize how much they needed to share. It was my first time doing it.

It’s actually what launched me into soul care for therapist, is my team on the retreat sharing what speaks fake life to you and what speaks death to you. Basically, they were sharing their wounds, their stories and they were sharing like, we all were crying for hours. I was like, oh my gosh, this was like group therapy. I didn’t realize it, but they needed it. I’m like, where does therapists go to talk about their stuff on a real level, and it’s safe and therapists can get another therapist quicker than anyone else? They’re so kind in loving when you share by the way.
[CINDY]
Oh wow.
[DAWN]
They hold space beautifully. They’re your team, they already believe in you. So anyway, creating that environment and you go first and then the team goes, I think it’s beautiful. Then the second year we did it, which was this year, we did a little different. We said talk about three people or three experiences that shaped your life, that impacted your life. Again, it went back to stories and wounds and healing, but a lot of tears. It doesn’t have to be tears, but it was just beautiful and the team feels really bonded. And we also can support each other on a deeper level. So I’m a hundred percent for it.
[CINDY]
Wow. That is so awesome to hear. Very encouraging and very freeing. I feel just so free hearing you say that, knowing that going to those places of just sharing your heart can be so powerful and meaningful and you’re right. People want to hear, especially our team, like we want to hear each other’s stories and who we really are and where we’re coming from, because you’re right, we do want to be able to support each other. So that is really cool to hear.
[DAWN]
It is. Maybe it was three years ago. It was in the middle of COVID, I feel like we lost year in COVID, but it was right after COVID and we all had missed each other and we were sharing. Then I was like, there’s something here. This is beautiful. This is sacred and that is what launched me into developing sole care for therapists, therapist matrix theory, and I started really researching what therapists really need. Think about it, as your team is sitting with clients, they’re sitting in the most sacred space with clients. They’re used to holding that space. But who holds it for them? I’m not talking about therapy, but who holds a safe space for them? Why not your team? Is would that be a beautiful environment? I love it and there are times when I have to go in and I don’t want to be vulnerable because I want to like show a certain level of competency but there are times I need to, and it impacts them better. But I also go back to, I need to depend on God. I am not in control a hundred percent of the time. So for me, I use it as a teaching moment too, but also to model for them, this is how we can be as a team. It is scary.
[CINDY]
Yes, it is. But I love that it’s modeling how setting the culture that the team can have together, which is so important. I really appreciate so much on where you are coming from and what you’ve been forming for therapists to have that place of connection and vulnerability. I remember at the conference that we were just at, I attended your session and I don’t remember the exact context, but there was something about a question that you had asked about what do you want? I wrote down, I’m allowed to want something? What? I was stuck in a place of overwhelmed. I’ve just got to check up all the boxes and to have that moment of what, I can want something I can need something? Like I’m so used to taking care of other people. I take care of my son, I take of my staff, I take of my clients and then I have that moment of, well, what do I need? What I’m allowed to need something, to want something? That was really, really powerful moment for me where I just there and stared at my paper. But I think that that’s really relevant with what we’re talking about is having that that connection and that help and support for each other.
[DAWN]
I think Cindy, especially like, I have noticed a theme with well, and maybe because I work more with women, I’m sure it’s similar with male therapists, but for women therapists, yes, we do have a lot of different roles and hats and we are used to that nurturing, creating, and giving and giving and giving. You think as a therapist we’d be self-aware enough to know, oh yes, I need this too but I don’t know. There’s something in our makeup, especially for a group practice owner, like there’s something in the like check off boxes in the to-do list that it makes us feel good and it is hard to be vulnerable and that’s not how we’ve survived life.

We all have our stories of why we’re in counseling or why we’re passionate about what we do. Anyone who’s listened to my podcast knows I’ve went through some things in my younger years. I went through a divorce, I went through grief with my mom passing, so there’s so many things, as I was a therapist that I am like, Ugh, I’ve had to work through and be like, I need to present this to people. People need to hear this and have a safe space, but that’s not how I survived it at first. We just push through and do our thing. So now I see a need, a deep need for all of us to like go inward a little more.
[CINDY]
Yes, that’s such a good point you’re making
[DAWN]
Hi, I just want to take some time to talk to you about Sacred Space Mastermind Group. This is Dawn Gabriel, your host of Faith Fringes podcast. I am super passionate about bringing people together who are group practice owners. Whether you’re wanting to start a group practice you’re in the middle of starting one, or you’ve been a clinician for years running a group practice, this mastermind group could be for you. So maybe answer some of these questions. Do you value your faith and want to keep a spiritual view on your business? Is that a grounding value to you that you want to bring in to how you run your business? Do you want to grow your group practice and do you feel like you need a community around you that can support you and not only support you in the growth of your business, but also support you in what’s it like to be a business leader and an entrepreneur, as you look at how your faith informs that?

So what I have done is I’ve created some mastermind groups that I call sacred space, where we get together with four to six other clinicians and we meet twice a month for an hour. We really just enter into some spiritual exercises that really get us centered and listening to what God may have for us, not only us, but one another. So we listen in together to what God is saying and how he informs how we make decisions. Then we come back to one another and talk about what we’re hearing and what we’re noticing. So it’s definitely more of, it’s definitely a mastermind group, because we can talk about what you’re needing practically on how to grow your business but we also enter in together to this sacred space and we listen in to what the spirit might be saying to us as well.

I have found that it’s be a very beautiful place for not only yourself, but for one another for the group. It’s just a beautiful thing to watch as the group really joins in on a deeper level of spirituality and business building. If that sounds like something you are wanting to do, please reach out to me at dawn@faithfringes.com and let me know that you’re interested in this group. The next one is starting in July, 2022 and it’s from July through November. So we’ll meet for five months and there’s two meetings each month and you’ll have access to me, email, text and phone calls in between those times. You’ll also get a lot of my documents, my task lists that I like to check off and how to grow business, how to onboard clinicians, how to train clinicians, just a lot of the stuff I’ve already done as being a group practice owner for seven years. You’ll get access to all of my master checklist.

Let me know if that’s something you’re interested in. Like I said, reach out to me through email dawn@faithfringes.com. I’d love to have you. I have a few spots open for this next one in July and I would love to have you. Oh, and I forgot to mention, those of you who do join this July one, it will include a spot secured at my sole care for therapist retreat, which is coming up in September. So it automatically gives you a spot, completely paid for. When you join the mastermind, you will get a spot at the sole care retreat here in Colorado. So I hope to see you. I’d love to answer any questions. I’ll jump on a phone call with you. Just reach out. Thanks so much.
[DAWN GABRIEL]
The one thing I was going to say, Cindy is that there is stuff I have to look at when being vulnerable. I think if you have to look at what you’re needing or looking for, it’s one thing to model for the team but I think when it crosses the line is when I am demanding something from my team or it’s too big of a need that I’m asking them to meet.
[CINDY]
Yes.
[DAWN]
And I’m not depending on who I am in God for that strength and vulnerability. Does that make sense?
[CINDY]
Yes, that totally makes sense. That really resonates with me. I think that’s important of what is your, where’s your heart coming from in sharing and sharing your story or sharing about where you’re at in life right now is? And that’s where it’s so important to have a good support network for yourself and those other safe places like it, can’t just be your team where you have a safe space. It’s got to be other places at first and foremost with God like that. You’re right, that is so important because he is our healer and our comforter and he is the one that we can come to at any time and just, okay, here I am God. I know I’ve had times when I’ve come before him and just said, okay, I don’t know what I’m thinking or feeling about this, but I’m just here I am and I’m just coming to you. He really, I’ve been so encouraged in the different ways that he speaks to me and how I see he’s speaking to other people. That’s often through the people in our lives that love on us and are there for us and just in so many amazing ways that he’s there. So I think you’re right. That is first and foremost for me, for sure.
[DAWN]
What do you think you’re hearing him say when you maybe enter in and ask him about the vulnerability with your team? I wonder if you take a moment to just get still right now even, and ask him what do you think he would say about the vulnerability with your team?
[CINDY]
Wow, that’s powerful. I think he would say what’s stopping you. Why not go there? That maybe it’s just the fear and can you push through the fear because of the possible amazing outcomes that could come from that of just having that vulnerability? That’s powerful.
[DAWN]
What do you think the fear about fear of what do you think you’re afraid of?
[CINDY]
Well, I like to call myself a recovering people pleaser. I know I’m sure you’ve got a lot listeners that can relate to that.
[DAWN]
I can relate. We got to work the program more
[CINDY]
Right, exactly. So I think maybe that fear is I don’t want to look bad and that’s probably more of the pride, or I don’t want to be too much for them, or I don’t want to put them in a low place if we’re talking about therapy.
[DAWN]
Your team can handle more than you think. I think as long as we’re coming at it, as I feel that God is nudging me this way and that I want to model vulnerability. I mean, again, I think thinking through it right is helpful because you might, I don’t know about you, but I have some more senior members of my team and some more newer members so I’m aware of that and I want to make sure I’m mentoring the newer ones a little bit differently. But I do have two on my team that are on my leadership team and I definitely share way more with them. But all three of us want to model the vulnerability because we feel like when you do therapy so much comes up for you anyway, when you’re with clients and you need a safe place to process that. So we do a lot of that in peer consultation as a group. But there is a different level I do with my leadership team too. Like you can look at all of this and think through the fear of am I heard, am I going to share too much or are they going to think less of me? That’s the thing you have to surrender, I think.
[CINDY]
Yes. I love that word surrender, surrendering that fear and letting God provide what I need in those moments and let God lead me in those moments.
[DAWN]
Well, and I wonder, I’m feeling like we should enter in a little more, if you don’t mind. I know we talked about maybe doing like a meditation, but I would love to enter in and seek God more on this. I know you have other things you wanted to talk about, but I’m feeling it. What do you think?
[CINDY]
I am too
[DAWN]
Just take a moment. We’re just acknowledge that this is a shift and we’re entering in, we want to enter into God’s presence together and just listen. So I want you close your eyes and just take, or whatever you’re comfortable with, but take a couple deep breaths just to notice where you’re at. Notice your thoughts and feelings without judging them, notice your body. As we invite God into this space, I’m going to read a stilling prayer and just see if anything pops out at you if you’re hearing more. Within and without silence, no word is uttered, but you come in loving, kindness and mercy, coaxing my inner being to stillness, calm and rest. Come gentle the anxiety, the fretfulness, let the rest of silence nestle my soul with a knowing breath in and out. You call me to come, stay, breathe, within and without, silence, no word is uttered, but you come in loving, kindness and mercy coaxing my inner being to stillness, calm and rest. Come gentle the anxiety, the fretfulness, let the rest of silence nestle my soul with the knowing of breath in and out, you call me to come, stay, breathe. What did you notice?
[CINDY]
That’s so nice and quietness and how difficult that can be sometimes, or how often I forget to do that. I think of that verse in the Bible that says, be still know that I am God, like just to be still. It’s so powerful and rejuvenating to have that stillness and I feel just overwhelmed by that, just gratefulness to have that reminder of the stillness and calmness, quietness. That is our, I guess our world is so busy and it’s easy to fall into that, just busy and to those moments, which felt very, I don’t even know how, I don’t know what word to use to describe it. It’s calming, rejuvenating.
[DAWN]
Yes, did you feel that, did God say anything to you in that? It’s okay if he didn’t. I’m just curious, did you feel him there or anything come up?
[CINDY]
I just felt him reminding that how important it is to just sit with him and that I can even have those moments of, I don’t have to be thinking anything or praying anything specific. I can just sit and just be with him. I forget to do that so I just felt like this reminder from him of you don’t have to check any boxes with me. You can just be with me, you can just be, and that’s pretty powerful. That’s I think what really came for me.
[DAWN]
Yes, the calmness or the settling into just being still.
[CINDY]
Yes, yes.
[DAWN]
I think even in the poem or in the prayer, it was saying, come gentle the anxiety, the fretfulness. I was like, okay, so when we’re getting anxious and fearful, like about being vulnerable or whatever, the other opposite is that calm, stillness with God entering in. So I just noticed the opposite of those.
[CINDY]
Yes, that’s such a beautiful thing. That’s so powerful. Thank you for sharing that and doing that prayer and that moment of stillness.
[DAWN]
Yes, no problem. What else is on your mind as far as, I know you had some other thoughts you wanted to work through or go through with your group practice. Was there other things that is coming up?
[CINDY]
One of the other things that was big for me was actually, I feel like have gotten answered in a roundabout way. One of them was how to slow down and have good balance in life. I just got like, hit over the head with saying, you just be still. Actually, that got completely answered for me in a pretty powerful way.
[DAWN]
Well, and isn’t it funny saying, I’m the same way. This is not, I don’t do the soul care and those guided stealing prayers because it’s easy and it comes naturally for me. I do it because I’m very similar to you. Like, I am way more comfortable in anxiety in the to-do list, which it sounds ridiculous, but that’s my go-to and that’s my thing and I need to be reminded to slow down, which is funny. It took like, I don’t even know how long, a minute, two minutes for us to do that even five minutes. Why do we rush away from a five-minute stilling exercise? You know what I mean?
[CINDY]
Yes, it’s so powerful to have those two or five minutes, and yet I don’t do it on a regular basis at all. It so amazing.
[DAWN]
And I think, sorry, I’m learning too, as we’re talking Cindy, but I think it’s because I think we’re so used to us therapists, like here’s a skill to do or to try, but what we did was more about a connection to God. Like he, it’s very different. It’s this spiritual connection. It wasn’t a skill per se. You know what I mean? So I think for me that I had to switch that in my brain of, no, I need to just be in presence even for just five minutes.
[CINDY]
Yes.
[DAWN]
That is powerful.
[CINDY]
It is. That’s so true, that connection. It’s not about that checking the boxes. It’s about just connecting with God and even connecting with our own body or our own emotions and what we’re feeling and thinking and letting us just feel it and be there.
[DAWN]
Yes. So think about like, when your son gets scared or maybe when he was younger, did he get scared of like thunderstorms or at night? Did he ever like, just need to run into your room and be with you?
[CINDY]
Yes.
[DAWN]
So think through that, what did he need for you to do in that moment?
[CINDY]
Just hold him, I comfort him and to be with him. I don’t think it was about what I said or did. It was just about being with him, that connection.
[DAWN]
So thinking of that, God, as our father or our parent, like how much he longs for that with us.
[CINDY]
Yes, that’s so true.
[DAWN]
What comes up for you when I say that?
[CINDY]
I love it. I absolutely love, I just think of the imagery of God as just a loving father and that I think of the times in my life that he has comforted me and it wasn’t always about a Bible verse that I read or a prayer that I prayed. It was just about knowing that he was there with me and he was, he just supernaturally gave me this piece that I can’t always explain. So that is so wonderful to, and because I’ve experienced that before, I know that that will come again when I have those days and those seasons in my life that I can run to him and just be comforted.
[DAWN]
So, because I know you do trauma, and do you do EMDR with that?
[CINDY]
Yes.
[DAWN]
Okay, so I want to teach you or do a real quick exercise for you to instill this as a resource. I want you to think, like, I want you to go back to that place when we were doing the prayer and I could read it again if you need, but is there like an image or a word or phrase that comes up when you think about how you felt with God in that moment?
[CINDY]
There was a word, was there a word quietness?
[DAWN]
Yes. Even if not, that’s the word that came to you.
[CINDY]
Yes, and I just had this image of almost nothing like just a stillness, quietness. I don’t even know what the, a real image, is just like nothing in a good way. Good way.
[DAWN]
So I want you to, I’m going to have you do the butterfly hold, and I want you to just take a moment to take some deep breaths and just focus on that quietness while you’re tapping and think of the word quietness and that nothingness, and just instill that in with the tapping and just notice how your body feels when you focus on the word quietness and knowing that God is present with you just being with you presence. The stillness and quietness.
[CINDY]
I feel just such a calmness in my body, in my core, all the way out.
[DAWN]
So you can come back there. That’s the thing I think we forget that we need to come back to these times of entering into that. Maybe I like people tapping just because it brings their body back into awareness of just going to that place with God and stillness and quietness. So I just want you to encourage you to do that more this week as you, because we all are going to have anxiety come back and as the prayer said, but yes, to come back there and instill back in.
[CINDY]
Yes, that is amazing. I’m so glad that you had me do that because that really did instill that. I am going to practice that, use that in the funny days.
[DAWN]
I know. That’s why, again, I love working therapists because I didn’t have to explain it and go into why that worked. You knew why it would work.
[CINDY]
Right. Yes.
[DAWN]
Well, cool. Well thank you so much for just being vulnerable and allowing me to jump in and do this live. I know that’s a little bit nervewracking in and of itself, but I do appreciate the time you took to let that with you.
[CINDY]
Yes. Excuse me. This has been amazing. It really has. This has given me a whole new perspective on some of the things that we were talking about with vulnerability and also just given me such a peace and calmness to walk away from this. So thank you for letting me come with my own vulnerabilities today. I appreciate it so much.
[DAWN]
Thank you.
[DAWN]
Thank you for listening today to the Faith Fringes podcast. For those of you wanting to take a deeper dive into your own faith journey, you can grab my free email course, Spiritual Reflections on my website, faithfringes.com. If you’re a therapist and would want to work with me, I offer sacred space holding for you through my consulting as well as my soul care retreats. To find out more, go to my website or email me, dawn@faithfringes.com.

I love hearing from my listeners. Drop me an email and tell me what’s on your mind. You can also connect with me on social media. I’m on Facebook and Instagram at Faith Fringes. As always, if you’re enjoying this podcast, I would love it if you could show it by your reviews. Go to Apple Podcasts and leave your review so that others can find this podcast and get curious about their own spiritual journey. Thanks again for listening.

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