In this candid conversation, Lisa Mustard, a licensed marriage and family therapist, shares her personal experience and insights on navigating midlife challenges as women. From feeling “meh” despite having achieved career goals to the importance of living authentically and congruently, Lisa dives deep into midlife authenticity and offers valuable tips to overcome obstacles.
Introducing Lisa
My name is Lisa Mustard and I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in South Carolina. I am also a wife to Billy, mama to two daughters, puppy wrangler, lover of health, wellness, and fitness, and a personal development junkie.
When I turned 40, I had a wake-up call. I was tired of going through the motions of my life and career as a therapist and wanted to pivot my skill set and do new things. Yet, I didn’t know what those things would be, so I began testing out ideas and business opportunities. Some were busts, while others were successes!
Along the way though, I have learned incredible lessons:
- First, when I work in alignment with my highest values and priorities, work is effortless and fun.
- Second, is that failing at something isn’t a death sentence. Failures are learning experiences. There is no failing, there’s only learning and growing!
- Third is that I need to be flexible in the methods I use while staying laser focused on my goals.
Combining all these lessons has brought me to where I am today – Podcaster and Coach.
The Therapy Show With Lisa Mustard helps talk therapists learn clinical information and skills, introduces them to others who are doing incredible work in the field and teaches them professional development and much more.
I started the podcast because I was bored with the traditional modes of continuing education and professional development. I yearned for convenient education that was fun, interesting, inspiring, helpful, and easily accessible anywhere, anytime. And I couldn’t find what I was looking for, so I decided to create it.
Identifying the Midlife Transition
Lisa opens up about her journey into midlife authenticity, starting around the age of 40. She shares how she felt dissatisfied despite having a good marriage, a successful career, and well-adjusted kids. “I knew there was more inside that I wanted to explore and be more authentic and congruent,” she says. This led her to introspect and work with a life coach to understand the underlying emotional issues and attachment patterns. She highlights how midlife can be a turning point where we desire more alignment with our values.
Understanding Values and Alignment
During her work with her coach, Lisa discovered that her feelings of discontentment were due to a disconnect between what she said was important (values) and how she lived her life (congruency). This incongruence led to her feeling “meh” and prompted her to explore her highest values and prioritize them genuinely. She provides examples of bridging this gap with her family, career, and health, demonstrating the importance of living in alignment with our values. Am I living out my values or just saying it? “Talk is cheap.”
Embracing Wisdom
As we age, we gain wisdom and lived experiences that can positively impact our lives and others. Lisa encourages embracing the wisdom gained in midlife, understanding that everything happens for a reason, and having the confidence that things will work out. She believes in passing on this wisdom to the younger generation and helping them find their paths while authentically living our values.
Overcoming Challenges
Lisa and Dawn discuss the unique challenges faced by women in midlife. They share their thoughts on dealing with hormonal changes, aging, and supporting aging parents. Lisa emphasizes that blaming menopause for everything is unproductive and that it’s essential to embrace the aging process with grace and acceptance.
Addressing Aging and Family
Both Lisa and Dawn agree that witnessing their parents’ health decline and losing loved ones are difficult aspects of midlife. They acknowledge the anxiety surrounding these changes but stress the importance of cherishing moments with aging family members and finding peace in knowing that some things are beyond our control.
The Journey Towards Authenticity
Lisa delves into her own journey toward authenticity and shares how she moved from burnout to fulfillment in her therapy career. By recognizing the importance of living congruently, she was able to make positive changes in her professional and personal life. Discontentment comes when we say what is important but we don’t change our behavior in alignment with those values.
Empowering Others
Through Authenticity Lisa believes that authenticity is about being transparent and honest with oneself and others. She encourages therapists and individuals to embrace their values and be true to themselves. Her mission is to impart wisdom, empower others, and help them find their path while navigating midlife challenges.
Finding Flow Through Alignment
Lisa emphasizes the positive impact of living in alignment with one’s values. As she shares her own experience of transitioning from burnout to fulfillment, she notes that work becomes more enjoyable when it aligns with one’s values. Lisa’s podcast and continuing education focus on empowering therapists to achieve this sense of flow and satisfaction in their careers.
Takeaways
- Identify Your Values: Take the time to list your values and rank them in order of importance. Understanding your highest values will help you align your life accordingly.
- Live in Alignment: Assess your life and ensure that your actions align with your values. Make a plan to bridge any disconnect between
- Set up boundaries: Take control of your environment and be responsible for your internal self